Florida (or MS or AL or PA or...) Man (or Woman or Other)

[LFC]

Let's start off with a California man.

The California Highway Patrol said it arrested a man seen riding in the back seat of a Tesla Model 3 that had no one in the driver's seat. Param Sharma, 25, was arrested "and booked into Santa Rita Jail" on counts of reckless driving and disobeying an officer, the department said in a statement Tuesday. Sharma was arrested after multiple 911 calls on Monday around 6:30 pm reported a driverless vehicle "traveling eastbound on I-80 across the San Francisco-Oakland Bay Bridge toward the city of Oakland," police said.

Sharma spent a night locked up, and he "committed the same crime shortly after being released from jail," according to a story yesterday by KTVU Fox 2:

Param Sharma met KTVU's Jesse Gary in San Francisco Wednesday afternoon, not far from his mother's high-rise apartment. After getting out of jail on two counts of reckless driving, he pulled up sitting in the back seat of a Tesla with no one in the driver's seat.

When asked if he purchased a new Tesla after the previous one was impounded he said, "Yeah, I'm rich as [expletive]. I'm very rich."

Good for you! Now you can be rich in jail. He should be held without bail until his hearing and trial.

[LFC]

Now THIS is a Florida man ... or woman. WTF did they do?

A Hummer with four 5-gallon containers of gas caught fire in Citrus County on Wednesday.

Officials say the 2004 Hummer H2 had just filled up the gas cans at a Texaco Food Mart on West Grover Cleveland Boulevard around 10:32 a.m.

Within 10 minutes, crews were able to douse the flames.

Fire rescue crews said one person was injured but that person refused, against medical advice, to be taken to a hospital.

The Florida State Fire Marshal is investigating and the Florida Department of Environmental Protection was notified for cleanup.

Further information into the fire has not been released.

[pnwguy]

May 15, 2021 1:28:22 GMT LFC said:

Now THIS is a Florida man ... or woman. WTF did they do?

A Hummer with four 5-gallon containers of gas caught fire in Citrus County on Wednesday.

Officials say the 2004 Hummer H2 had just filled up the gas cans at a Texaco Food Mart on West Grover Cleveland Boulevard around 10:32 a.m.

Within 10 minutes, crews were able to douse the flames.

Fire rescue crews said one person was injured but that person refused, against medical advice, to be taken to a hospital.

The Florida State Fire Marshal is investigating and the Florida Department of Environmental Protection was notified for cleanup.

Further information into the fire has not been released.

The baggie of bath salts they just scored was too irresistible to not smoke it on the way home.

[AnBr]

Obviously the work of Florida man.

[andydp]

Ohio Woman Whacks Another With 10-Pound Meat Log In Walmart, Gets Arrested

Best closing line candidate:


The South Euclid Police Department said it’s “unknown as to what initially led to the beef between the two women.”


1013thebrew.iheart.com/content/2021-05-13-ohio-woman-whacks-another-with-10-pound-meat-log-in-walmart-gets-arrested/?pname=local_social&keyid=WBFX&sc=editorial&fbclid=IwAR1l14g1XA5MSShbvgRAO0Kzj9uTEt5I4zU4N2dJ09kXqIQc7KOaiCXF5fY

[LFC]

YEEEEEEE HAW! That's a whole lot of crazy rednecks in one place. I feel bad for the local sheriff's department that had to deal with this. It doesn't appear the state stepped in to help despite knowing that it was going to be a large multi-day event with a LOT of drinking and drugs.

Thousands of people gathered last week to hold “America’s wildest and craziest country party” in a Kentucky town so small it doesn’t even have a stoplight. Days of disorder resulted in four dozen people criminally charged and left others with gruesome injuries.

Blue Holler Offroad Park in Edmonson County played host to “Redneck Rave,” a five-day country party that organizers promised would feature “mud, music and mayhem.” The event was organized by a country rapper known as “Justin Time.”

The Edmonson County sheriff’s office was tasked with policing twice its usual population as some Redneck Rave participants allegedly committed assaults, severed fingers, got impaled and became so intoxicated they were ill.

The sheriff’s office took preventative measures, like setting up traffic checkpoints. It didn’t take long to make the first arrest.

“The first vehicle that came through, we found meth, marijuana, and an open alcohol container,” Doyle said. “And then one of the occupants had two active warrants ... “We were like ‘well, this doesn’t bode well for the weekend.’”

One attendee had his throat slit by a supposed friend, Doyle said.

“They were intoxicated, they got into a fight, one of them slit the other one’s throat and then fled into the park,” Doyle said.

Law enforcement hadn’t found the suspect yet, Doyle said Tuesday.

In another altercation, 29-year-old Missouri resident Lancer Hodges was accused of strangling a woman with whom he argued over a blanket, according to court records. The victim told police he had choked her “until she was losing consciousness” and couldn’t breathe, deputies wrote in an arrest citation.

Hodges insisted that he didn’t choke her but the victim was hoarse, had scratches on her neck, red marks on her throat and fingerprints behind her ears, according to an arrest citation. Hodges was charged with strangulation, wanton endangerment and fourth-degree domestic violent assault, according to court records.

There were plenty of accidental injuries too. One of the partygoers was driving a side-by-side vehicle at the park when he drove over a 2-to-3 inch log that went through the bottom of his vehicle. After breaking through the floorboard, the log impaled him in the abdomen, Doyle said.

“When it tried to come out through his back it was stopped by a steel plate behind his seat,” Doyle said.

Paramedics had to leave the log in the victim, deciding it was safer than taking it out before he was flown to a hospital, Doyle said.

[pnwguy]

Jun 24, 2021 15:56:17 GMT LFC said:

YEEEEEEE HAW! That's a whole lot of crazy rednecks in one place. I feel bad for the local sheriff's department that had to deal with this. It doesn't appear the state stepped in to help despite knowing that it was going to be a large multi-day event with a LOT of drinking and drugs.

Could this be a Darwin party? I wonder how many are also un-vaxxed. "I ain't getting magnetized and having them Chinese track me!"

If only the local hospital was allowed to "shutdown for employee training", for several weeks 

[Bact PhD]

Gawwd, that’s reminiscent of what went on not far from me over Memorial Day weekend. Normally, Ginnie Springs is a fairly decent place. Alas, things got…a bit out of hand (paywalled)

www.gainesville.com/story/news/2021/06/02/raucous-partying-ginnie-springs-results-10-arrests-complaints/7508264002/

Ginnie Springs Outdoors has always been party central on summer weekends but it was in overdrive for the Memorial Day holiday.

[snip]

The Gilchrist County Sheriff’s Office had 74 calls for service inside the park plus calls from outside for noise, made 10 arrests and wrote 18 reports for cases such as parents who could not find their children.

Gilchrist County Emergency Medical Services also responded for calls ranging from overheating to overdrinking.

“I believe there were more people this year than last year just due to the pandemic but this is typical crowds for Ginnie Springs on Memorial Day weekend. It’s definitely a celebration and party atmosphere,” sheriff’s Lt. Keagon Weatherford. “This is a privately owned park open to the public that has different rules than the state parks. They allow for alcohol, people driving around to the different camp sites, loud music.”

[snip]

Among those camping over the weekend was Laura Meyer. She formerly lived in High Springs and has visited Ginnie Springs in the past.

But Meyer said she never experienced Ginnie so crowded, noisy and dangerous to others as it was over the weekend.

Young unattended children wandered into her group’s campsite, her car became a trampoline on which people jumped and was badly damaged with the stolen bumper and grille, and she was fearful of walking around alone at night.

“They had a bubble party in the main pavilion all the way across the other side of the spring. It was loud and in the middle of the night,” Meyer said. “It had foaming bubbles and neon lights and people were tripping and doing all kinds of stuff. I’m not kidding — I had people walk up and try to sell me drugs.”

Another big party featured a stripper pole, Meyer said.

There’s more, but you get the idea.

[goldenvalley]

Jun 24, 2021 17:12:18 GMT Bact PhD said:

Gawwd, that’s reminiscent of what went on not far from me over Memorial Day weekend. Normally, Ginnie Springs is a fairly decent place. Alas, things got…a bit out of hand (paywalled)

www.gainesville.com/story/news/2021/06/02/raucous-partying-ginnie-springs-results-10-arrests-complaints/7508264002/

Ginnie Springs Outdoors has always been party central on summer weekends but it was in overdrive for the Memorial Day holiday.

[snip]

The Gilchrist County Sheriff’s Office had 74 calls for service inside the park plus calls from outside for noise, made 10 arrests and wrote 18 reports for cases such as parents who could not find their children.

Gilchrist County Emergency Medical Services also responded for calls ranging from overheating to overdrinking.

“I believe there were more people this year than last year just due to the pandemic but this is typical crowds for Ginnie Springs on Memorial Day weekend. It’s definitely a celebration and party atmosphere,” sheriff’s Lt. Keagon Weatherford. “This is a privately owned park open to the public that has different rules than the state parks. They allow for alcohol, people driving around to the different camp sites, loud music.”

[snip]

Among those camping over the weekend was Laura Meyer. She formerly lived in High Springs and has visited Ginnie Springs in the past.

But Meyer said she never experienced Ginnie so crowded, noisy and dangerous to others as it was over the weekend.

Young unattended children wandered into her group’s campsite, her car became a trampoline on which people jumped and was badly damaged with the stolen bumper and grille, and she was fearful of walking around alone at night.

“They had a bubble party in the main pavilion all the way across the other side of the spring. It was loud and in the middle of the night,” Meyer said. “It had foaming bubbles and neon lights and people were tripping and doing all kinds of stuff. I’m not kidding — I had people walk up and try to sell me drugs.”

Another big party featured a stripper pole, Meyer said.

There’s more, but you get the idea.

Sounds like a stupid party at a frat house.  

[LFC]

Waddya' know. They don't get any less Floridamanish with age.

Florida Man on Motorized Scooter Exposes, Touches Self in Front of Walmart Shoppers

A Florida Man was arrested after flashing Walmart Patrons and touching himself while riding a motorized scooter.

According to shoppers, 80-year old Hoyt Neely had a hole in his pants he used to expose himself while touching himself. A similar incident occurred previously at the same Walmart involving a man matching the Florida Man’s description, however his identity wasn’t confirmed.

[Rue Bella]

Double duty. That item could also fit well in a 'Walmart Shoppers' thread.

In this case, perhaps some dementia involved. 

[goldenvalley]

Jul 21, 2021 17:50:59 GMT Rue Bella said:

Double duty. That item could also fit well in a 'Walmart Shoppers' thread.

In this case, perhaps some dementia involved. 

My first thought was dementia.  My grandad did such things though not while in a store, at least that I know of.

[pnwguy]

Jul 21, 2021 20:38:53 GMT goldenvalley said:

Jul 21, 2021 17:50:59 GMT Rue Bella said:

Double duty. That item could also fit well in a 'Walmart Shoppers' thread.

In this case, perhaps some dementia involved. 

My first thought was dementia.  My grandad did such things though not while in a store, at least that I know of.

Look the guy was a Walmart shopper.  He didn't have $130,000 to get himself a porn star... 

[LFC]

Pennsylvaniaman! And he's a Republican candidate for governor!

A Pennsylvania Republican running for governor was reportedly seen driving for several miles with a motorcycle stuck to the front of his vehicle after a fatal crash, according to the Associated Press and the Philadelphia Inquirer.

Charlie Gerow, a Republican running for Pennsylvania governor, is under investigation for his role in the car accident. A person told the AP that he witnessed a car driving with a motorcycle attached to the front of the car after the accident, moving at a high speed. The crash prompted the Pennsylvania Turnpike in Chester County to be shut down for several hours after the accident. Gerow has maintained that he was not the “cause” of the fatal accident.

The state police report that was released on Thursday did not name Gerow. It stated that the crash involved a Honda motorcycle and a Mercedes Benz 300. An investigation is active and ongoing to “determine the circumstances surrounding the Mercedes.” On Friday, Chester County Coroner Christina VandePol identified the victim as Logan Carl Abbott, 30, of Bradford County, according to the AP and the Inquirer.

Nicholas Forgette, a highway construction worker who was working on the turnpike Wednesday evening, told the Inquirer on Friday that he was on the opposite side of the highway as he witnessed Gerow’s car pass by with a motorcycle wedged into the grill of his car.

Forgette said he noticed sparks coming off the car that was traveling at high speed, which put him and other members of his construction crew in a state of “disbelief.”

“That is not something you see every day. It was a big motorcycle, too. There were a bunch of sparks. And it was very loud,” Forgette told the Inquirer.

Forgette added that Gerow was pulled over by state police several miles from where he first saw him. Forgette told the Inquirer that he recalls seeing Gerow sitting on a guardrail, lacking facial expressions and appearing “kind of disconnected.”

Blame placed on a prescription medication in 3, 2, ...

[LFC]

Jul 26, 2021 18:15:59 GMT LFC said:

Pennsylvaniaman! And he's a Republican candidate for governor!

Oh FFS, I just knew that I should have put that in Political.

You see this story about the gubernatorial candidate from Pennsylvania who’s being investigated for his involvement in a fatal motorcycle accident. He apparently drove for miles after the accident with the motorcycle stuck to the front of his car. Charlie Gerow insists he wasn’t the “cause” of the accident. As I said, his role in the accident is currently being investigated by Pennsylvania State Police.

But TPM Reader BH points out that Gerow is not just a candidate for governor. He’s the Vice Chair of the American Conservative Union, the group that puts on CPAC.

In fact, that’s more or less all ACU does these days. He even addressed CPAC’s get together down in Texas just a couple weeks ago. When I saw this I figured maybe ACU/CPAC has a bunch of Vice Chairs. But actually not. ACU’s website lists two members of the organization’s Board of Directors: Chairman Matt Schlapp and Vice Chair Charlie Gerow.

Small world.

[LFC]

Florida ... man?

Freaky ‘Penis Snakes’ Have Finally Made It to the U.S., and of Course They Chose Florida

[LFC]

Well that's less than 1-1/2 hours from home. Awesome.

A Pennsylvania woman decided to treat the COVID-19 pandemic as a joke last year, coughing on food at her local supermarket. Now she’s about to face a new audience: jail inmates. Margaret Ann Cirko, 37, was sentenced to one to two years in prison, eight years of probation, and ordered to pay a $15,000 fine for the incident. Prosecutors said that in March 2020, just as COVID-19 lockdowns began, Cirko walked into a Gerrity’s Supermarket and screamed, “I have the virus. Now everyone is going to get sick.” She then coughed and spat on food throughout the store, forcing its owners to throw away about $35,000 worth of food and merchandise, according to The Morning Call. She pleaded guilty to a weapons of mass destruction charge in June, a second-degree felony.

Her lawyer said Cirko had mental health issues and later tested negative for the virus, with Cirko herself telling Judge Michael T. Vough that she regretted her actions. “I wish I could take it back,” she said. He replied: “I do too.”

[andydp]

Stupid is as stupid does...

Driver sinks car and boat in Onondaga Lake twice in a week, charged for polluting

GEDDES, N.Y. (WSYR) — According to the Department of Environmental Conservation Press Office, a man backed his Jeep and boat trailer—with the boat attached!—into Onondaga Lake on August 9.

He missed the DEC boat launch by 50 feet and got stuck in the mud at the shoreline. The man’s jeep and boat with the trailer were towed out, and he did not report the incident to the DEC’s Division of Law Enforcement, the DEC says.

On August 12, the man successfully made it to the ramp of the boat launch, but didn’t brake in time and sank his trailer and Jeep again. The DEC alleged that the man was intoxicated, but managed to escape through the window.

www.news10.com/news/ny-news/driver-sinks-car-and-boat-in-onondaga-lake-twice-in-a-week-charged-for-polluting/?utm_medium=referral&utm_source=facebook.com&utm_campaign=socialflow&fbclid=IwAR1oQigKjYlMK5qxazFj9K7Tt_D7Eq9WaqniF_Kh9BXgOqxDOxLdpeK1m1Q

[LFC]

Sept 3, 2021 12:16:22 GMT andydp said:

Stupid is as stupid does...

Driver sinks car and boat in Onondaga Lake twice in a week, charged for polluting

Dude. Just admit it. You have no business owning a boat.

[LFC]

Let's put this Michigan woman up on the board, shall we?

Seething and vengeful, Wendy Wein was on the lookout for the professional killer she meant to hire as she waited inside a southeastern Michigan cafe in July 2020.

Wein wanted her ex-husband dead. But she didn’t want to kill him herself and didn’t know anyone she trusted to do it for her. So she did what a lot of people do when they have a job they can’t or don’t want to do themselves — she searched for help on the Internet.

On RentAHitman.com.

What Wein found was presumably reassuring. The website promised her confidentiality. It boasted of industry awards. It showed off testimonials of satisfied customers, including one from Laura S., who had “caught my husband cheating with the babysitter.” The website bragged about complying with HIPPA, which it said was “the Hitman Information Privacy & Protection Act of 1964,” a nod to the Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act, or HIPAA, the law passed in 1996 to protect patients’ medical information.

The trouble for Wein was that RentAHitman.com is a fake website. It’s not run by “Guido Fanelli,” as it claims, but by Bob Innes, a 54-year-old Northern California man who forwards any serious inquiries to law enforcement. Innes launched the site 16 years ago as part of an Internet security business that never went anywhere. Instead, it has served as a honeypot of sorts, attracting people who want to hire professional killers.

For Wein, it didn’t go well. She was arrested within days of seeking out an assassin and pleaded guilty earlier this month to solicitation of murder and using a computer to commit a crime. Under her plea agreement, she faces at least nine years in prison when she is sentenced in January.

She's hardly alone.

Wein, 52, is not the only one who has gotten stuck in Innes’s digital trap. About 650 to 700 people have contacted him since he first registered the website in 2005, including about 400 who, like Wein, filled out his “service request form,” which requires users to give their name, email address and phone number, along with the same information of their “targets,” Innes said.

Innes vets the entries, which come in at a clip of about eight to 10 a month these days. He tosses the crank entries. But if he can verify the existence of the person requesting a hit man and the target they want killed, he forwards the information to one of RentAHitman’s 17,985 “field operatives,” which just so happens to be the approximate number of law enforcement agencies in the country.

All these years later, he’s still a little dumbfounded people don’t realize his site is bogus.

“I don’t get it,” Innes told The Washington Post last week. “People are just stupid.”

[pnwguy]

Nov 23, 2021 18:42:50 GMT LFC said:

“I don’t get it,” Innes told The Washington Post last week. “People are just stupid.”

That pretty much sums up the GOP's voter strategy now -- that and minority rule by gerrymandering, with a side order of voter intimidation and suppression.  

[LFC]

Poor Florida. Now they're IMPORTING their Floridamanliness. (I mean other than during Spring Break, of course.)

Cleveland Browns defensive tackle Malik McDowell has been arrested after allegedly stripping naked, walking onto the property of a children’s learning center, and assaulting a sheriff’s deputy. The Broward Sheriff’s Office charged McDowell, 25, with public exposure, resisting arrest with violence, and battery on a law enforcement officer in Florida. After authorities arrived on the scene, McDowell “charged” at a deputy “at full speed with closed fist,” according to an arrest report. The “violent attack” left the officer “dazed” and injured. A lawyer for McDowell explained that “apparently somebody may have slipped him something or given him something he was unaware of, which explains some of his bizarre behavior.” The Browns said Tuesday that team officials were “aware of the very concerning incident” and were “gathering more information.” McDowell previously played for the Seattle Seahawks, who released him after a February 2019 arrest for operating a vehicle while intoxicated, resisting arrest, and assault.

[Bact PhD]

Jan 18, 2022 20:50:17 GMT LFC said:

Poor Florida. Now they're IMPORTING their Floridamanliness. (I mean other than during Spring Break, of course.)

Cleveland Browns defensive tackle Malik McDowell has been arrested after allegedly stripping naked, walking onto the property of a children’s learning center, and assaulting a sheriff’s deputy. The Broward Sheriff’s Office charged McDowell, 25, with public exposure, resisting arrest with violence, and battery on a law enforcement officer in Florida. After authorities arrived on the scene, McDowell “charged” at a deputy “at full speed with closed fist,” according to an arrest report. The “violent attack” left the officer “dazed” and injured. A lawyer for McDowell explained that “apparently somebody may have slipped him something or given him something he was unaware of, which explains some of his bizarre behavior.” The Browns said Tuesday that team officials were “aware of the very concerning incident” and were “gathering more information.” McDowell previously played for the Seattle Seahawks, who released him after a February 2019 arrest for operating a vehicle while intoxicated, resisting arrest, and assault.

We do tend to attract the...um...eccentrics. Look at The Villages...

[LFC]

Jan 18, 2022 22:20:07 GMT Bact PhD said:

We do tend to attract the...um...eccentrics. Look at The Villages...

For the purpose of conciseness can we just call them The Villages People?

[Bact PhD]

Jan 18, 2022 23:01:48 GMT LFC said:

Jan 18, 2022 22:20:07 GMT Bact PhD said:

We do tend to attract the...um...eccentrics. Look at The Villages...

For the purpose of conciseness can we just call them The Villages People?

Fortunately for my laptop, I was NOT consuming a beverage when I read this.