Florida (or MS or AL or PA or...) Man (or Woman or Other)

[andydp]

And comedians still cry...

Gotta love those Jersey Girls !!  PS: Never, ever mess with a Jersey Girl !!

Drunk woman rolls away on motorized suitcase after being denied boarding at Orlando airport, police say

ORLANDO, Fla. (WFLA) — Body camera video released by Florida authorities this week shows the confrontations that an intoxicated New Jersey woman on a motorized suitcase got into with police and airline employees before she was arrested at the Orlando International Airport last year.

The incident happened in April 2021 when the woman, identified by police as 32-year-old Chelsea Alston of New Jersey, was denied entry aboard her flight due to her perceived level of intoxication. A police report said Alston was refunded the money for her flight but refused to listen to workers who denied her entry.

When an Orlando police officer attempted to de-escalate the situation, Alston “angrily rolled away yelling profanities on top of a motorized luggage bag,” the report said.


www.wfla.com/news/florida/video-drunk-woman-rolls-away-on-motorized-suitcase-after-being-denied-boarding-at-orlando-airport-police-say/

[andydp]

Well... Florida is supposed to be a "happy place".  This one was living the dream.



Florida man told police he was ‘high and happy’

TAMPA, Fla. (WFLA) — On Wednesday, a 51-year-old Florida man told officers he was “high and happy” after a traffic stop for recklessly driving, according to the Monroe County Sheriff’s Office. Deputies said Theodore John Evans, 51, of Jupiter, was stopped after multiple callers reported a Toyota RAV4 running red lights, passing in no-passing zones, and not staying within the lanes.

Deputies said Evans’ eyes were bloodshot and watery, and a release said Evans “behaved erratically, speaking quickly and nonsensically about how high and happy he was due to his use of a vape pen.” Police found marijuana candies, a glass pipe, and a vape pen in the Toyota.

www.news10.com/news/florida-man-told-police-he-was-high-and-happy/?utm_source=facebook.com&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=socialflow&fbclid=IwAR3GxjRsr2UpMxGl4XpoyAhnivWgL6SMG1fiqIWYKwFKvemoP6zWFOeLFeQ

[andydp]

The main question I have is: where were these women when I was single ?

Florida Lawyer Arrested For Allegedly Getting Naked Inside Bar

A Florida lawyer is facing charges after she refused to put on clothes after going nude inside a bar, according to The Smoking Gun.

Reporters say the incident happened at Beach Lounge in St. Pete Beach around 2:15 a.m. Friday (February 18). Kelly Elkins, 49, entered the business but was "intoxicated to the point the manager refused to server her," according to an arrest report.

<snip>

Elkins was booked into the county jail on a disorderly conduct charge, The Smoking Gun says. She was later released on her own recognizance. Reporters added that she was admitted to the Florida Bar in 2001 and is a licensed real estate broker.

1013thebrew.iheart.com/content/2022-02-23-florida-lawyer-arrested-for-allegedly-getting-naked-inside-bar/?sc=editorial&pname=local_social&keyid=WBFX&fbclid=IwAR0lpxKldzHvYCHaCsTIbw-kCUq3OG7-ACzi55H1s608dxDQtodPGUz4D2g

[andydp]

This popped up on my FB memories.  I'd love to know the back story to this.

Fortunately, I found the story.  Coincidentally, just in time for St Patrick's day.


www.irishcentral.com/news/woman-in-sumo-wrestler-suit-assaults-ex-girlfriend-after-waving-at-man-dressed-as-snickers-bar-97262439-237701981

[goldenvalley]

Mar 9, 2022 13:04:04 GMT andydp said:

This popped up on my FB memories.  I'd love to know the back story to this.

Fortunately, I found the story.  Coincidentally, just in time for St Patrick's day.


www.irishcentral.com/news/woman-in-sumo-wrestler-suit-assaults-ex-girlfriend-after-waving-at-man-dressed-as-snickers-bar-97262439-237701981

That's the longest bold headline I've ever seen.

[andydp]

Mar 9, 2022 17:40:46 GMT goldenvalley said:

Mar 9, 2022 13:04:04 GMT andydp said:

This popped up on my FB memories.  I'd love to know the back story to this.

Fortunately, I found the story.  Coincidentally, just in time for St Patrick's day.


www.irishcentral.com/news/woman-in-sumo-wrestler-suit-assaults-ex-girlfriend-after-waving-at-man-dressed-as-snickers-bar-97262439-237701981

That's the longest bold headline I've ever seen.

Try to shorten it and get the same impact.

[LFC]

Oklahoma man!

A day out hand fishing for catfish on the South Canadian River in Pontotoc County, Oklahoma, has turned into a murder investigation after a man claims Bigfoot forced him to kill his friend.

Larry Sanders, 53, stands charged with first-degree murder after allegedly admitting first to a family member and later to police to killing his noodling fishing partner Jimmy Knighten, who Sanders claimed wanted him dead by the hand of the mythical monster Bigfoot. Noodling is a popular fishing technique used in the southern United States to catch a fish by sticking one’s hand in its mouth.

The local sheriff, John Christian, told local media that Sanders “appeared to be under the influence of something” when he told police he had struck, strangled, and then drowned Knighten.

“So, his statement was that Mr. Knighten had summoned ‘Bigfoot’ to come and kill him, and that’s why he had to kill Mr. Knighten,” Christian told local reporters.

[andydp]

Why there will always be an England...

Man crashes into shop, runs off and is attacked by emu

A driver who crashed his utility vehicle into a shop in the centre of a Wiltshire town thought he was making an escape - only to get attacked by an emu as he ran from the scene.

The driver, who has not been named by police, somehow managed to swerve into the shopfront on Gloucester Street in Malmesbury, crashing into the shopfront almost at 90 degrees to the road.

www.bristolpost.co.uk/news/bristol-news/man-crashes-shop-runs-attacked-7380249?fbclid=IwAR2dEhDtpHn3bUyayRfegTiF_bNgubIeEffTPq93rBldH1THk4uJ-S0saRQ

[LFC]

Florida Man Shot Dead After Climbing Into Stranger’s Bed With Machete, Whispering ‘I Love You’

No mention if they were cousins.

[LFC]

Arkansas man! Or maybe vegetarian man? From Beyond Meat to beyond sane?

Beyond Meat COO arrested for biting man’s nose near Razorback Stadium

[andydp]

A common Florida automotive problem.

[andydp]

Just another Friday evening.

Florida Man Shoots At Passing SUV, Didn't Realize It Was A Police Vehicle

A Florida man is arrested after firing at a police SUV in a fit of road rage. The Hillsborough County Sheriff's Office said that Deputy Daniel Henry was driving home after work when he pulled up behind a dark green 2007 Saturn sedan.

The driver of the Saturn, later identified as 49-year-old Tracy Swint, was driving slow and brake-checked Henry. As Henry went to pass Swint, he pulled out a handgun and fired at the SUV, striking it between the rear passenger door and the wheel.

Henry pulled over to inspect his SUV and radioed the dispatcher with a description of the vehicle and Swint.

Another deputy located the Saturn and followed it until it pulled into a residence. After speaking with officers, Swint admitted to firing his gun but claimed he did not realize he was shooting at a police vehicle.** He was taken into custody and charged with felony counts of aggravated battery on a law enforcement officer and shooting into an occupied vehicle.


1013thebrew.iheart.com/content/2022-12-08-florida-man-shoots-at-passing-suv-didnt-realize-it-was-a-police-vehicle/?keyid=WBFX&sc=editorial&pname=local_social&fbclid=IwAR3NVGKRH0L6RaDPpijI5DBS5z2RuFPNHPG-gUyUp3hdPglqKaHUS5y0urI

** Ergo, shooting at a civilian vehicle is OK

[LFC]

Florida Man, the gift that keeps on giving.

[LFC]

Welcome to Pennsyltucky.

Naked man driving stolen school bus with dead deer inside leads police on chase

[AnBr]

PennsyltukDUH?

[goldenvalley]

Good guys standing their ground in Florida?

[Bact PhD]

Apr 16, 2023 18:54:30 GMT goldenvalley said:

Good guys standing their ground in Florida?

The Twitterverse is just getting around to this story; the incident took place last October:

www.actionnewsjax.com/news/local/nassau-county-road-rage-shooting-leads-two-girls-shot-both-fathers-jail/ZPIQ3MZ2WNEU7ESAHYTHVG4XQ4/?outputType=amp

October 10, 2022 at 11:21 p.m. UTC
By Josh Navarro
NASSAU COUNTY, Fla. — Two girls were shot after a dangerous road rage incident over the weekend in Nassau County, and their fathers were arrested in the case.

Sheriff Bill Leeper said William Joseph Hale, 35, of Douglas, Georgia; and Frank Gillard Allisson, 43 of Callahan were involved in the incident while traveling northbound on U.S. Route 1 Saturday evening, initially coming from the Jacksonville area.

Lovely gents, nevertheless.

[goldenvalley]

Texas Man.  Gee I wonder why she didn't want to have children with him.

A man is accused of killing his girlfriend after she said she did not want children with him, Texas police say. The woman, later identified as 22-year-old Jade Alyssa Alvarez, was initially listed as a Jane Doe when her body was discovered Thursday, April 6, by a police officer patrolling the streets, according to the San Antonio Express-News. She had been shot multiple times in the back, the publication reported.

 ****
The same gun, according to WOAI, was used in the fatal shooting of Alvarez. Charged with aggravated robbery from the April 1 incident, Byrd was not captured until after his involvement in Alvarez’ death.


****
“Byrd admitted to shooting and killing Alvarez, using the same gun as he did in the robbery,” KENS reported, citing an affidavit. “They were reportedly having an argument because he wanted to have a baby with the victim, and she did not. Eventually, she was shot and killed, and he is said to have taken off.”


Read more at: www.sacbee.com/news/nation-world/national/article274411400.html#storylink=cpy

Read more at: www.sacbee.com/news/nation-world/national/article274411400.html#storylink=cpy

[LFC]

California Man!

Ventura, CA- Dylan MacEwan (36), was arrested early this afternoon after dozens of calls rang into the Ventura Police Department complaining of a man who was telling parents that their babies were ugly while they were entering a local Walmart. MacEwan stood off to the side of the entrance door at Walmart on S. Victoria Blvd. and when a parent was approaching with their baby, he would take a look and if he thought they were ugly, he would say so.

Many people blew him off as just an emotionally disturbed individual, but several people left in tears at the mean things he said about their kids. “I was just telling them the truth. I may be an asshole, but at least I’m an honest asshole”, MacEwan told one of our reporters. Regardless of his being “honest”, he was still harassing people, and public harassment is against the law.

“He was so offensive for absolutely no reason. Why he would say my child is ugly, when obviously his ugliness runs much deeper.”, a parent told us under the condition of anonymity.

Dylan has a history of being a “truth teller” and was arrested just this past summer for harassment and intimidation for telling overweight folks on the beach that they needed to “cover-up” or they may be mistaken for a whale and “harpooned”. “This individual has been a public nuisance on more than one occasion. The district attorney is aware of his being a repeat offender and is compiling a strong case again him”, Sgt. Larry Denton told us.

MacEwan is being sent off for a 72hr. psychological evaluation to determine his competency. Please stayed tuned to dailynewsreported.com as more of this story unfolds.

[andydp]

The punch line to the above story is:
Police: I’m sorry the man upset you lady. Can I get a banana for the monkey ?

VERY old joke.

[andydp]

I thought it was time to highlight some news from Arkansas.  I see the state is in the forefront of a new bathing bikini fashion trend.  

Arkansas Game Fish


Yesterday at 9:15 AM 

Bridgette Watkins, 43, of Summit, AR who allegedly took fawns into her home and raised the deer with the intentions of training them to attack hunters was taken into custody Friday.

At the time of the arrest Watkins was in possession of several grams of meth, four deer and many stolen broken electronics.

Attention was drawn to Watkins when she began giving meth to the young deer and they were caught rummaging through people’s garages and back porches.

A homeowner followed one of the deer back to Watkins residence in an attempt to recover his property, he found himself face to face with Watkins wearing only a duct tape bikini disassembling his clock radio.

Charges pending further investigation.

Game and fish page here with photos.

www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100092301363369

[goldenvalley]

Apr 24, 2023 16:30:12 GMT andydp said:

I thought it was time to highlight some news from Arkansas.  I see the state is in the forefront of a new bathing bikini fashion trend.  

Arkansas Game Fish


Yesterday at 9:15 AM 

Bridgette Watkins, 43, of Summit, AR who allegedly took fawns into her home and raised the deer with the intentions of training them to attack hunters was taken into custody Friday.

At the time of the arrest Watkins was in possession of several grams of meth, four deer and many stolen broken electronics.

Attention was drawn to Watkins when she began giving meth to the young deer and they were caught rummaging through people’s garages and back porches.

A homeowner followed one of the deer back to Watkins residence in an attempt to recover his property, he found himself face to face with Watkins wearing only a duct tape bikini disassembling his clock radio.

Charges pending further investigation.

Game and fish page here with photos.

www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100092301363369

The mental image....attack deer hopped up on meth!  If only they could carry AR 15s!  

As to duct tape bikini...taking that off is gonna be painful.

[AnBr]

Apr 24, 2023 21:37:59 GMT goldenvalley said:

taking that off is gonna be painful.

Perhaps already shaved?

[goldenvalley]

Apr 25, 2023 1:25:38 GMT AnBr said:

Apr 24, 2023 21:37:59 GMT goldenvalley said:

taking that off is gonna be painful.

Perhaps already shaved?

Maybe but even bare skin will hurt.

[andydp]

Apr 24, 2023 21:37:59 GMT goldenvalley said:

Apr 24, 2023 16:30:12 GMT andydp said:

I thought it was time to highlight some news from Arkansas.  I see the state is in the forefront of a new bathing bikini fashion trend.  

The mental image....attack deer hopped up on meth!  If only they could carry AR 15s!  

As to duct tape bikini...taking that off is gonna be painful.

EDITED TO ADD:  This story is not true.  The site is a parody of the official AR site.